Kugonana Kwambiri: Kuthana ndi Zithunzi Zolaula (Gawo 1)

Vuto la kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula komanso momwe zikukhudzira anthu

Wolemba Steve Prokopchak

Iyi ndi nkhani yoyamba mwa nkhani ziwiri zokhuza kugonana kwathunthu. Nkhani yoyambayi ikufotokoza za vuto la kuonera zolaula komanso mmene zikukhudzira anthu. The nkhani yachiwiri idzapereka yankho la m'Baibulo lothana ndi zolaula komanso kuyenda m'njira zogonana.

Dr. Doug Weiss akulemba kuti pali kugwirizana kwachindunji pakati pa khalidwe la kugonana ndi tsogolo mwa Khristu. Iye anati: “Mulungu anakonza zoti inu ndi ine tichite zinthu zodabwitsa za ufumu wake, ndipo mmene tingakhalire oyera pa nkhani ya kugonana ndi mmene tingapindulire. Kugonana ndi tsogolo n’zogwirizana ndipo n’chifukwa chake mdyerekezi amagwira ntchito zolimba kuti akukolani mu uchimo wachiwerewere.”¹

Tanthauzo la zithunzi zolaula ndi “zinthu zolaula zomwe cholinga chake chachikulu ndicho kudzutsa chilakolako cha kugonana.” Baibulo limagwiritsa ntchito mawu achigirikiwo porneia, kutanthauza “dama, dama, chigololo, kapena dama.” Mawu akuti “zolaula” amachokera ku mawu achigiriki amenewa.

Tiyeni titsimikizire kuyambira pachiyambi kuti pamene tiyang’ana zolaula tikuchita chiwerewere ndi kunyozetsa dongosolo la Mulungu la ubwenzi wapamtima m’banja: mwamuna mmodzi ndi mkazi mmodzi. Chofunika koposa, zolaula sizidzatitengera komwe Mulungu pamapeto pake akufuna kutitengera pakuyenda kwathu ndi Iye.

Ziwerengero ndi Nkhani ya Zithunzi Zolaula

Taona atsogoleri ambiri m’matchalitchi, m’ndale, ndiponso m’gulu la anthu ogwira ntchito akusiya kulowerera ndale chifukwa cha makhalidwe oipa. Anali nyenyezi zotuluka, koma sitikumvanso za, kuwerenga, kapena kufuna kuwatengera.

Kafukufuku amene anachitika m’dziko lonse la mipingo ku United States anasonyeza kuti m’chaka cha 2023, amuna 65 pa 57 alionse ndi abusa XNUMX pa XNUMX alionse akhala akulimbana ndi kuonera zolaula, kaya panopa kapena m’mbuyomu.² Koma, chiwerengero chodabwitsa kwambiri chinali chakuti anyamata azaka khumi ndi chimodzi mpaka khumi ndi zisanu ndi ziwiri adanena kuti ndi ogwiritsa ntchito kwambiri pa 85%. Pafupifupi 57% ya atsikana achichepere adapezeka kuti amagwiritsa ntchito zolaula monga momwe Covenant Eyes adanenera.³ Ananenanso kuti mmodzi mwa abusa achichepere asanu ndi mmodzi mwa abusa aakulu asanu ndi aŵiri ku United States amagwiritsira ntchito zolaula nthaŵi zonse. Zithunzi zolaula ku United States zili penapake pakati pa makampani 4 biliyoni mpaka 12 biliyoni—malinga ndi kumene ziŵerengerozo zachokera.

Kafukufuku akuwonetsanso kuti akuluakulu 40 miliyoni amayendera zolaula pa intaneti pafupipafupi.⁴ Ndalama zambiri zimagwiritsidwa ntchito pa zolaula pachaka kuposa pro baseball, pro basketball, pro football, ndi Super Bowl pamodzi. Kugulitsa zolaula pa intaneti kumaposa kugulitsa kwazinthu zina zonse zogulitsidwa pa intaneti. Mafilimu akuluakulu zikwi khumi ndi chimodzi amapangidwa pachaka, zomwe ndi makumi awiri kuwirikiza kawiri chiwerengero cha mafilimu odziwika bwino omwe amatuluka ku Hollywood. Nkhani yokhudzana ndi zolaula ikufalikira m'tchalitchi, ndipo ngakhale achinyamata amakono akuwululidwa ndi kukhudzidwa. Ndi mliri.

Pali masamba opitilira 400 miliyoni a zolaula omwe amapezeka pamasamba opitilira mamiliyoni anayi. 70% ya zolaula zimatsitsidwa nthawi yantchito - 9:00 am mpaka 5:00 pm

Titha kuzindikira kuti m'badwo wamakono ndi m'badwo womwe ukulimbana kwambiri ndi kugulitsa zachiwerewere kuposa wina uliwonse. Komabe, m'badwo uno ukudyanso zolaula mwachangu kuposa wina aliyense. Chinachake sichimawonjezera.

Ziwerengero zochititsa chidwi zikupitilira*

• 47% ya mabanja aku America akuti zolaula ndizovuta m'nyumba zawo.
• M'chaka chatha, malo olaula a 165 biliyoni adawonedwa.
• 88% mpaka 97% peresenti ya amuna a ku America amanena kuti adawonera zolaula nthawi ina, pamodzi ndi 83% ya amayi.
• Zithunzi zolaula zimachulukitsa kusakhulupirika m'banja ndi 300%.
• Avereji ya zaka zomwe mwana amayamba kuona zolaula ndi zaka khumi ndi chimodzi; 94% ya ana adzawona zolaula ali ndi zaka khumi ndi zinayi.
• 60% ya atsikana osakwana zaka khumi ndi zisanu ndi zitatu amakumana ndi zolaula.
• 56% ya zisudzulo zaku America zimaphatikizapo gulu limodzi lokhala ndi "chidwi kwambiri" pamasamba olaula.
• Abusa a 59% adanena kuti amuna okwatira amafuna thandizo lawo kuti athetse zolaula.
• 33% ya amayi azaka makumi awiri ndi zisanu ndikuyang'ana zolaula kamodzi pamwezi.
• 55% ya amuna okwatirana ndi 25% ya akazi okwatiwa amanena kuti amaonera zolaula kamodzi pamwezi.
• 7% ya azibusa amati mpingo wawo uli ndi pulogalamu yothandizira anthu omwe akulimbana ndi zolaula.
• Maola 17.8 thililiyoni a zolaula amadyedwa chaka chilichonse.
• Malinga ndi chida cha SEMrush Traffic Analysis, kuyambira Meyi 2021, malo owonera zolaula amalandira anthu ambiri ku US kuposa Twitter, Instagram, Netflix, Pinterest ndi LinkedIn kuphatikiza.⁵

Mbiri Yachidule ya Zolaula

Mu 1948, Dr. Alfred Kinsey anafalitsa buku lovuta koma lodziwika bwino lofotokoza za kugonana. Iye anali mmodzi mwa asayansi oyambirira kukambirana momasuka za kugonana, ndipo mabuku ake anagulitsidwa ngati openga.

Mu 1950, 8% ya anthu aku America adanena kuti amaonera zolaula. Ziwerengerozi zakwera mpaka 76% mu 2023.

Mu 1953, Hugh Heffner anatulutsa buku lake loyamba Playboy magazini. Heffner adagwiritsa ntchito mwayi wosintha malingaliro ogonana ndipo adayamba kusindikiza zolaula pamodzi ndi nkhani ndi zolemba zolembedwa ndi olemba olemekezeka. Ankasonyeza kuti zolaula ndi zosavulaza, zolemekezeka, komanso zosangalatsa.

M'zaka za m'ma 1980, luso la matepi a VCR linabwera. Zithunzi zolaula tsopano zinali kuoneredwa kunyumba m’malo mozionerera m’mabwalo ochitira masewero oipa. Zinakhala zofikirika kwambiri.

M'zaka za m'ma 1990, zolaula zidafika pa intaneti ndipo zinali zosavuta kuzifikira kudzera pamakiyi ochepa. Makampani opanga zolaula pa intaneti adaphulika. Kuchokera ku 1998 mpaka 2007, makampaniwa adakula ndi 1800%. Pofika m'chaka cha 2004, malo olaula anali kuchezera katatu kuposa Google, Yahoo! ndi Kusaka kwa MSN kuphatikizidwa!

Zithunzi zolaula zinayambanso kutchuka m’mafilimu a ku Hollywood ndi pa TV kudzera m’matchanelo olipidwa poonera. Pakati pa 1998 ndi 2005, chiwerengero cha zithunzi zolaula pa TV chinawonjezeka kawiri. Izi sizinali zowona za TV ya anthu akuluakulu; zidachitikanso pa TV ya achinyamata. Masiku ano, pafupifupi malonda onse amagulitsidwa kudzera mu malonda omwe amagwiritsa ntchito zithunzi zolaula kapena zolaula.

Ziwerengero ndi Tsamba la Pornhub

Ziwerengero zimatiuza kuti 35% yazotsitsa zonse pa intaneti ndizokhudzana ndi zolaula. Ziribe kanthu komwe muli mukakhala pa intaneti, malo olaula amangodina kawiri kapena katatu.

Zambiri zokhudzana ndi tsamba la Pornhub:

• Kanema mmodzi pa atatu alionse ndi achiwawa m’chilengedwe.
• Makanema odziwika bwino zana limodzi amakhala owonera 65.4 miliyoni.
• 50% ya makanema a Pornhub amakhala ndi makanema apachiwerewere.
• Kanema wodziwika kwambiri ali ndi mawonedwe 230 miliyoni pomwe kanema wocheperako amakhala ndi mawonedwe 40 miliyoni.

Ndi zoposa 60% za malo olaula omwe amakhala ku US, palibe dziko lina padziko lapansi lomwe limapanga zolaula zambiri.

The Conditioning Process

Conditioning ndi njira yophunzitsira munthu kuvomereza zochitika zina kapena kuchita mwanjira inayake. Ndi njira yozolowera chinthu, pafupifupi osachiganizira kapena kuzindikira. Conditioning nthawi zambiri imayamba chifukwa cha kulimbikitsidwa monga mphotho ya yankho linalake. Kukula kwa ana kumayamba, mwachitsanzo, anyamata akangopatsidwa mfuti kuti azisewera kapena atsikana amapatsidwa zidole.

Akatswiri a zamaganizo amatiuza za njira zisanu zothanirana ndi zolaula.

Gawo loyamba - kuyambitsa kapena kuwonekera: Izi zimachitika chifukwa cha kugwiriridwa monga momwe zimakhalira m'magazini, makanema, TV, kapena kompyuta. Pali njira ina yoyambira kugwiriridwa, nthawi zambiri kuchokera kwa "bwenzi". Izi nthawi zambiri zimachitika paubwana.

Gawo lachiwiri - chizolowezi / kukakamiza komwe kumatsogolera ku zizolowezi: Iwo omwe nthawi zonse komanso nthawi zambiri amadziwonetsa okha ku zolaula amapeza kuti amayenera kubwereranso kuti apeze zambiri-chifukwa chapamwamba china. Izi zimayamba ndondomeko ya mankhwala yomwe tidzakambirana mozama pambuyo pake. (Onani "Momwe ubongo umasinthira" pansipa.)

Gawo lachitatu - kukula: Zokwera zam'mbuyomu sizokwanira ndipo wogwiritsa ntchito amayang'ana mitundu yachilendo yogonana pofuna kukopa chidwi.

Gawo lachinayi - deensitization: Zomwe zili zachilendo zimakhala zachilendo. Palibe chododometsa kwambiri kapena chosokoneza. Nkhawa ya kuvulaza ena imatayika pofunafuna kugonana kotsatira.

Khwerero lachisanu - kuchita zomwe mukungoganizira kapena malingaliro anu: Pamapeto pake, timapanga zomwe tawona komanso zomwe timasangalala nazo. Ambiri amafunafuna njira zokwaniritsira zokhumba za mwamuna kapena mkazi wake, hule, kapena mwana wamng’ono. Nthawi zambiri, izi zimabweretsa kugwiriridwa. Pakafukufuku wina wa mahule omwe kale anali achiwerewere, 80% adanena kuti makasitomala adawawonetsa zithunzi zolaula kuti afotokoze zomwe amayembekezera pazochitika zogonana.

Mmene Ubongo Umachitira Kusintha

Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti tikamagonana, ubongo umatulutsa mankhwala otchedwa oxytocin, limodzi ndi mankhwala ena. Oxytocin amatha kutchedwa guluu ku mgwirizano wa anthu. Mwachitsanzo, oxytocin imatulutsidwanso pamene mayi agwira mwana wake watsopano pakhungu lake kuti ayamwitse mwanayo, zomwe zimachititsa kuti muzigwirizana.

Tikamaonera zolaula, ma neurotransmitters amphamvu monga dopamine (mankhwala otulutsidwa mu "malo a mphotho" a ubongo) amatulutsidwanso. Ubongo wathu ndiye umatenga zithunzi zolaulazo ndikupanga mgwirizano, zomwe zimasokoneza mgwirizano waumunthu ndi kugonana.

Mau a Mulungu amatilimbikitsa kuti, “Chifukwa chake konzani maganizo anu kuti agwire ntchito; khalani odziletsa; yembekezerani mokwanira chisomo chimene chidzapatsidwa kwa inu pamene Yesu Khristu adzavumbulutsidwa. Monga ana omvera, musatengere zilakolako zoipa zimene munali nazo pamene munali osadziwa. Koma monga iye amene anakuitanani ali woyera, khalani oyera mtima m’zonse.” (1 Peter 1: 13-15).

Dr. Tim Jennings, katswiri wa zamaganizo, ananena kuti kubwerezabwereza kulikonse kumapangitsa ubongo wathu kukhala ndi mipata “yoyaka moto” mosasintha.⁶ Choncho, amuna ndi akazi amene amakondadi Yesu ndi mtima wonse akhoza kukhala mu ukapolo wogonana ndi mdani chifukwa choonera zolaula mobwerezabwereza. Tiyeneranso kuzindikira kuti Mulungu amafuna kuti tizigwirizana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wathu wogonana naye, pamene mdani amafuna kuti tikhale akapolo a zinthu zolaula.

Kodi Izi Zimagwira Ntchito Motani?

Monga mankhwala aliwonse kapena mankhwala osokoneza bongo, dopamine ikatulutsidwa, malo opatsa mphotho muubongo amalowererapo. Mwachitsanzo, dongosolo la mphotho limakuuzani kuti mumamva bwino mutatha kudya chakudya chokwanira kapena masewera olimbitsa thupi. Zimalumikizananso ndi malingaliro abwinowo nthawi iliyonse yomwe mukuchita nawo zinthuzo. (Mwa njira, ubongo wathu mwachibadwa umakhala wolimba kuti utilimbikitse kuchita zinthu zina zomwe zingatipatse thanzi.)

Komabe, ubongo ukhoza kuyambiranso ku chisangalalo pokumana ndi chisangalalo chambiri. Imachita izi mothandizidwa ndi puloteni yotchedwa DeltaFosB. Puloteniyi imapanga kulumikizana kwatsopano muubongo kuti tizikumbukira zomwe takumana nazo ndikubwerezanso. Tikamabwereza kaŵirikaŵiri chinachake, m'pamenenso minyewa yolumikizana ndi minyewa imakhala yokhazikika ndipo m'pamenenso timalakalaka chokumana nachocho.

Nayi gawo lachinyengo la njirayi. DeltaFosB imakumbukiranso mitundu yolumikizirana ndi zomwe zachitika. Mayanjano awa amatchedwa "mawu". Mwachitsanzo, wosuta akhoza kupeŵa fungo la utsi wa ndudu, kapena chidakwa angakhale ndi njira zoyambukiridwa ndi kuona botolo. Kwa omwerekera, dziko lonse lapansi limayamba kumva ngati mndandanda wazinthu zomwe zimawatsogolera ku zizolowezi zawo. Pamene njirayo ikukhudzidwa, imayambitsidwa mosavuta ndi zizindikiro zomwe zimawonekera tsiku ndi tsiku.

Izi zimapanga chisokonezo, makamaka kwa wokhulupirira yemwe ali ndi chizolowezi choledzera. Wogwiritsa ntchito zolaula, mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kapena mowa amafuna ndikuzilakalaka mochulukira, nthawi zonse amazikonda mochepa. Kuonera zolaula kukuchulukirachulukira chifukwa anthu amene amazikonda amayamba kulolera. Izi zikachitika, zolaula zambiri zimafunikira kapena zolaula zolimba kwambiri zimatsatiridwa pamlingo womwewo wa chisangalalo chotsatira. Tsoka ilo, owonera zolaula ali pomwepo, okonzeka ndikudikirira ndi zinthu zomwe zikuchulukirachulukira.

Nthawi zambiri zolaula zolaula zimakhala "zaulere," mpaka chilakolako chowonjezeka chowonjezereka chingapangitse munthu kuwononga ndalama pa zolaula. Izi zimabweretsa mavuto azachuma omwe amangowonjezera zovuta. Sekondi iliyonse ya tsiku lililonse, $3,075 imagwiritsidwa ntchito pa zolaula. Ndi zenizeni zenizeni pazochitikazo, zikuyembekezeredwa kuti VR idzakhala bizinesi ya madola biliyoni imodzi pofika chaka cha 2025. Zolaula za VR zidzakulitsa ndalama za malo olaula mosayerekezeka.

Kuwonjezeka kwa Kugwiritsa Ntchito Zithunzi Zolaula

Kukwera kumachitika chifukwa timadziuza tokha kuti tikusangalatsidwa ndi chinthu chosavulaza. Pajatu Mulungu analenga amuna ndi akazi komanso kugonana. Koma panthawiyi, ubongo wathu uli wotanganidwa kupanga kugwirizana pakati pa kudzutsidwa ndi chirichonse chomwe chikuchitika pazenera. Zolaula zikamagwiritsidwa ntchito kwambiri ndikuzidziwa bwino, m'pamenenso zimakhala zofunikira kuti zidzuke.

Pa kafukufuku amene anachitika pa anyamata achikulire okwana 1,500, 56 peresenti ananena kuti zokonda zawo zolaula zafika “mochulukira kapena mopotoka.” Pamapeto pake, zolaula zimathanso kusintha malingaliro omwe amathandizira nkhanza kwa amayi komanso nkhanza zogonana. Ngakhale kuti zolaula ndi zosatheka ndipo zimalemekeza chiwawa ndi kugonana, 53% ya anyamata ndi 39% ya atsikana amakhulupirira kuti zolaula ndizowona powonetsera kugonana.⁷ Izi zikuwonetsa momwe zolaula ziliri zachinyengo komanso momwe zingasinthire malingaliro athu achibadwa.

Kwa okwatirana, zokonda zokhudzana ndi kugonana zimasintha kwambiri moti munthu yemwe ali ndi vuto la zolaula nthawi zambiri sangathe kuyankha pogonana kwa okondedwa awo enieni. Nthawi zambiri, izi zimatsogolera kuulendo wopita kwa dokotala kuti akalandire chithandizo cha ED (erectile dysfunction). Zaka makumi atatu zapitazo, kugwiritsa ntchito ED kunali pafupifupi nthawi zonse chifukwa cha ukalamba wa mwamuna kapena kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala. Zinali zosamveka mwa amuna osakwana zaka makumi atatu ndi zisanu. Masiku ano, ED yosatha ikukhudza amuna azaka zawo zaunyamata ndi 20s. Kuwonjezeka kumeneku kumagwirizana mwachindunji ndi kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula pa intaneti.

Zithunzi zolaula zimakhala ndi mphamvu zopanga njira zokhalitsa mu ubongo. Palibe zochitika zina zilizonse zomwe zingapikisane nazo, ngakhale kugonana kwenikweni ndi bwenzi lenileni la moyo. Zolaula zimatha kugonjetsa mphamvu zachilengedwe za ubongo zogonana kwenikweni! Tangoganizirani anthu amene akukhala kutsogolo kwa kompyuta nthawi ya 3 koloko m’mawa ali ndi maganizo odzaza ndi zolaula. Ngakhale kugona sikungapikisane ndi njira yaubongo iyi yosangalatsa, kuvomereza malo opatsa mphotho, dopamine ndi chikhumbo chofuna zambiri. Mofanana ndi njira yomwe imagwiritsidwa ntchito bwino m'nkhalango, njira yowonetsera zolaula imakhala yowonjezereka komanso yogwiritsidwa ntchito kwambiri mpaka munthu atayamba kuganiza kuti, "Izi zimamveka bwino, tiyeni tichite mobwerezabwereza."

Achinyamata ndi Zolaula

Mungayerekezere mmene kuonera zolaula kumakhala kokakamiza, makamaka muubongo wa achichepere monga achichepere. Izi zili choncho makamaka chifukwa malo opatsa mphotho a wachinyamata amakhala amphamvu kuwirikiza kanayi kuposa wamkulu. Zolaula ndi “maloto” a zinthu zongowoneka, zomveka komanso zokopa. Sipanatenge nthawi kuti malingaliro achichepere ayambe kuzolowera.

Onani m'maganizo momwe achinyamata amaphunzirira za kugonana kuchokera ku malo olaula pa intaneti. Ochita kafukufuku amapeza kuti anthu omwe awona zolaula zambiri amatha kuyamba kugonana mwamsanga, kugonana ndi zibwenzi zambiri, komanso kuchita chiwerewere choopsa. Malo oonera zolaula samabwera ndi chenjezo la kudwala komwe kumachitika chifukwa chogwiritsa ntchito. Zimenezi zingafanane ndi kulemba ganyu munthu wogulitsa ndudu kuti aphunzitse kalasi ya zaumoyo za makhalidwe abwino a kusuta. Ndikungoganiza kuti palibe amene angamve za ziwerengero za khansa kapena momwe kusuta kumafupikitsira moyo wa munthu.

Zolaula Zimasokoneza Malingaliro Athu Okhudza Kugonana

Zowopsa monga momwe zithunzi zolaula zilili ndi zinthu zomwe sizimawonetsa. Zolaula siziwonetsa mbali zonse za kugonana kwabwino monga kuyankhula ndi kulumikizana kudzera mukulankhulana, kulumikizana m'malingaliro mwa kukumbatirana, mwachikondi, kukhudzana kwatanthauzo, ndi kutumikirana wina ndi mnzake mosangalala.

Simungapeze chenjezo lokhudza zotsatira za kugonana mosadziteteza mukamaonera zolaula. Mwachitsanzo, palibe malo aliwonse amene amatchula za kuthekera kwa matenda opatsirana pogonana, mimba, khansa ya pachibelekero, mikwingwirima, kapena tizilombo toyambitsa matenda. M’zolaula, mosasamala kanthu za mmene munthu wina akuchitiridwa zinthu, zimawoneka ngati zokondweretsa, zosiririka, ndipo sizivulaza kwenikweni. Ngakhale kuti akazi akumenyedwa, kukwapulidwa, kukalipiridwa, kapena kuvulazidwa m’njira zina, zotsatira zake zimakhala zofanana nthawi zonse: wozunzidwayo amayankha mosangalala kapena sayankha n’komwe.

Dr. Gary Brooks, katswiri wa zamaganizo amene amafufuza mmene zolaula zimakhudzira zolaula anati: “Anyamata amene akopeka ndi [zolaula] amatengeka maganizo m’njira yoti akhoza kukhala nawo kwa moyo wawo wonse.”⁸ Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, pulofesa wothandizira opaleshoni ku Harvard Medical School ndi mkulu wa Men's Health Boston anati, "Amuna ambiri omwe amakula tsopano akuwonera zolaula za pa intaneti amaphunzira kugonana kwawo komanso momwe angakhalire ... m'njira yosatsanzira kugonana kwenikweni."⁹

Zolaula Zimapha Maukwati: Umu Ndimotani

Kodi munayamba mwadzukapo m’maŵa ndi kuganiza kuti, “Ndikudabwa kuti lero ndingawononge kapena kusokoneza bwanji banja langa? Ndikudabwa kuti ndingamupatse bwanji mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga kukhala wosatetezeka? Mwina ayi, koma zimenezi n’zimenenso zolaula zimachita pa ubwenzi wanu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Kuonera zolaula kumachepetsa kukhulupirirana m’mabanja. Kumawonjezera chisembwere ndipo kumachotsa chisamaliro cha munthu paukwati ndi banja. Kuphatikiza apo, zimatsegula chitseko chopeza kapena kukumana ndi bwenzi latsopano mukamacheza pa intaneti.

Amayi ambiri amawona kuti palibe ntchito yovomerezeka yowonera zolaula m'mabanja odzipereka. Atafufuza kwa zaka 30 za zotsatira za zolaula, ofufuza a Jennings Bryant ndi Dolf Zillman a pa yunivesite ya Alabama anapeza kuti “kuonera zolaula kumapangitsa kuti anthu ambiri asamakhutire ndi maonekedwe a mnzawo, mmene amachitira pogonana, chilakolako chofuna kugonana komanso chikondi chawo. M'kupita kwa nthawi, ambiri ogwiritsa ntchito ayamba kukhala osaganizira za akazi ambiri, sakonda kukhala ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi m'modzi yekha komanso amakhala ndi malingaliro olakwika okhudza kugonana. Amapezekanso kuti samagwirizana kwambiri ndi abwenzi awo komanso osakhutira ndi moyo wawo wachikondi. Pomaliza, ambiri amangokhalira kubera anzawo.”¹⁰

Tawona kale momwe zolaula zimasinthiranso mawaya muubongo. Nkhani ina yovulaza m’banja ndi yakuti kugwiritsira ntchito zolaula kumachititsa kuti munthu asakhale wokhutira komanso kuti asamasangalale ndi mnzako. Ogwiritsa ntchito amakhala osalabadira kwenikweni pakugonana kwenikweni. Taganizirani izi. Amuna ndi akazi pa zolaula amawoneka odabwitsa, achinyamata, moyo wawo wonse. Kupatula apo, iwo amapangidwa opaleshoni kumawonjezera ndi airbrush kuti angwiro. Wolemba mabuku wina analemba kuti, “Masiku ano, akazi amaliseche enieni amangokhala zolaula zoipa.”

Kodi Chimachitika Ndi Chiyani M'dziko la Mizimu Pogwiritsa Ntchito Zolaula?

Kuonera zolaula kumatsegula chitseko cha moyo ndi mzimu wathu ku kuponderezedwa kwauzimu, kusokonezeka, kutaya chiyembekezo, kupwetekedwa mtima, kulamulira, ndi ulamuliro wa zoipa. Akazi amadzimva kukhala operekedwa, kukanidwa, kunyozedwa, kusakopeka, kusiyidwa, osungulumwa, opanda pake, okwiya, ndi odzazidwa ndi manyazi ndi amuna amene amagwiritsira ntchito zolaula. Iwo akupusitsidwa, kwenikweni. Akazi amaona ngati sangapikisane ndi zithunzi zimene amuna awo amaziona. Zithunzi zolaula zimasonyeza chinyengo chakuti mkazi angachite chilichonse kuti asangalatse mwamuna, komabe m’dziko lenileni khalidwe loterolo ndi longopeka chabe. Izi zimabweretsa kusatetezeka kwa iye ndipo zingawononge kudzidalira kwake. Adzakayikira kukongola kwake ndi kukwanira kwake monga wokonda. Pambuyo pake amatha kuganiza ndikukhulupirira kuti zolaula ndizofunikira kwambiri kwa mwamuna wake kuposa momwe alili kwa iye, zomwe zingakhale zoona. Ndiko kuperekedwa kotheratu pakugonana.

Komabe, amuna nthawi zambiri amaona zithunzi zolaula ngati malongosoledwe opanda vuto, njira yothetsera kusungulumwa, kapena njira yothetsera kugonana ndi munthu amene sachita zimene akufuna. Amuna amafulumira kufotokozera ndi kulungamitsa khalidwe lawo, akulitcha "khalidwe lachibadwa" la mwamuna yemwe amadzuka m'maso. Amalumikizana ndi amayi omwe ali ndi zolaula omwe "alipo nthawi zonse," ndipo amagwidwa ndi chikhumbo chofuna kudzutsidwa kosatha. Azimayi osonyezedwa m’zolaula ndi achichepere, okongola, ndi ofunitsitsa kukondweretsa. Satopa kapena kukhumudwa ndipo sakhala ndi tsiku loipa. Kodi angayerekeze bwanji ndi mkazi ndi mayi amene walimbana ndi mwana wamng’ono tsiku lonse, wogwira ntchito movutikira kapena akungolimbana ndi makolo okalamba amene akumuthera mphamvu zake zonse?

Anthu akamayika ubongo wawo kuti udzuke ndi kukokomeza kotereku, amakhala ndi zovuta zenizeni ikafika nthawi yoti alowe pakati pa mapepalawo. Kwenikweni, zolaula ndi kugonana kwenikweni monga Spam ndi steak - kutsanzira mtengo, mokokomeza. Zolaula sikungochepetsa mphamvu za amuna kuti azigonana bwino, zimawachotsera kuthekera kwawo kogonana konse.

Zolaula zimapha chikondi chenicheni chifukwa ndi zabodza. Tsamba lililonse, tsamba lililonse, kanema aliyense ndi wabodza. Si zenizeni! Ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula amakayikira za chikondi ndikukhala osadzipereka kwa okondedwa awo, komabe zonse zimamangidwa pamabodza. Awa akhoza kukhala mabodza monga, “Ndikungoona anthu akugonana ndipo kugonana n’kwachibadwa,” “Zolaula ndi zododometsa zosalakwa; zilibe vuto,” kapena “Zolaula zimatipatsa njira yodziŵira bwino za kugonana.” Monga ngati mwachinyengo, ena anganene kuti zolaula sizimapweteka aliyense. Zonama chotani nanga!

Chilonda cha mzimu chosawoneka bwino cha zolaula ndikuti maubwenzi ambiri amakhudzidwa ndi kusintha komwe kumachitika muubongo. Ikhoza kusokoneza mmene ogula amaonera anthu, mabwenzi awo, achibale awo, antchito anzawo, mwana wamkazi wa mnansi kapena mwana wamwamuna, mwana wake wamkazi, ngakhalenso alendo m’khwalala. Bwanji? Zolaula zimauza ogula kuti anthu ndi zinthu zomwe zili ndi cholinga chokha chopereka chisangalalo pakugonana. Zimenezo kwenikweni zikugwirizana ndi kupanga moyo wa munthu kukhala chiŵerengero cha ziwalo zonse za thupi, kutaya phindu lake lenileni ndi mtengo wake.

Tsoka ilo, sizimathera pamenepo. Wogwiritsa ntchito zolaula amakhala wodzida yekha. Ndiko kutsika kwa chizoloŵezi cha zithunzithunzi zabodza, chikondi chabodza, ndi moyo wabodza.

Zinsinsi Zamdima za Ojambula Zolaula

M'zolaula nthawi zambiri anthu amamenyedwa, kumenyedwa, kuchitidwa chipongwe, kunyozedwa-ndipo zonsezi zimatengera kuvomereza ndi mgwirizano. Koma kwa ambiri, uwu ndi ukapolo wamakono kapena kuzembetsa anthu. Kuzembetsa anthu ndikugula ndi kugulitsa anthu, kapena kusuntha anthu kuti agwiritse ntchito phindu. Chiwerengero cha akapolo padziko lonse lapansi ndi 21 mpaka 32 miliyoni. Pafupifupi 22% mwa iwo amagulitsidwa chifukwa cha kugonana. N'zochititsa mantha kwambiri kuti avereji ya zaka za ana aang'ono omwe akugulitsidwa ndi kujambulidwa - ndi zaka 12.8.¹¹

Nthawi zambiri zolaula komanso kuzembetsa zolaula zimakhala zofanana. Akuti pafupifupi theka la anthu amene amazemberedwa ndi kugonana amanena kuti ankawagwiritsa ntchito m’mafilimu olaula. Anthu awa amachokera padziko lonse lapansi mokopeka ndi zotsatsa zabodza monga, "Bwerani ku America kuti muyambe ntchito yanu yotsatsira. Bwerani mudzayambe moyo watsopano.”

Kodi Izi Zikutanthauza Chiyani kwa Ife?

Poyang'ana zolaula, mukuthandizira malonda a zolaula ndikuwathandiza kuti akule. Mukuchita nawo mchitidwe wodyerana masuku pamutu anthu ogwidwa m’dziko lamdimali. Mukuonjeza uchimo wozembetsa anthu. Mukunena kuti “inde” ku bizinesi ya madola mabiliyoni ambiri yomwe imadyetsa ndi kupha amuna, akazi, ndi ana osalakwa ndipo imene ingawatsogolere ku kuwabera kapena kuphedwa. Mukuphunzira kuona ndi kuchitira akazi ndi amuna ngati zinthu zogonana. Mukuwononga omwe ali mumsika uno (omwe masiku ano akuphatikizapo atsikana ambiri kuposa kale), ukwati wanu, banja lanu, ndi inu nokha. Mumachirikizanso kuba ana. National Center for Missing and Exploited Children inalemba malipoti a zithunzi 69 miliyoni za zinthu zogwirira ana (zolaula za ana) mu 2019.¹² Pali kugwirizana pakati pa ana osowa ndi zolaula.

Inde, mukhululukire ndikuzilingalira. Mumadziuza nokha kuti sizoyipa. Kungoyang'ana mwachangu; ndi chikhumbo chachibadwa . Ena a inu ngakhale kusintha zamulungu wanu kuti mudziuze nokha, kapena kuyesa kudzitsimikizira nokha, kuti zolaula kwenikweni ndi zabwino kwa Mulungu.

Koma Sindinaledzere!

Mutha kukhala ndi mauthenga omwe akupita ku ubongo wanu pakali pano akunena kuti, "Zonsezi zikhoza kukhala zoona, koma munthu ameneyo si ine."

Mumadziwa bwanji ngati ndinu oledzera? Nawa malangizo ena.¹³

• Mumaona kuti ndinu wolamuliridwa, wosalamulirika, ndiponso mulibe mphamvu zokana kuonera zolaula.
• Muli ndipo mukukumana ndi kuchulukirachulukira komanso kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula.
• Ukunama pakugwiritsa ntchito.
• Mumatanganidwa ndi malingaliro ogonana ndi zongopeka.
• Mumadziuza kuti vuto lanu silili loipa ngati ena kapena kuyesa kupeputsa kugwiritsa ntchito kwanu.
• Mwayesera kusiya kugwiritsa ntchito mosalephera.
• Mumasiya kukonda kugonana ndipo mumaona kuti zolaula zimakhala zosangalatsa kwambiri.
• Mumasiya kukopeka ndi bwenzi lanu lenileni.
• Mumayamba kupanga ndi kufuna mu moyo wanu wogonana zomwe mumawona pamasamba olaula.

Mayankho Alipo

Ngakhale kuti zonsezi zingamveke ngati zokhumudwitsa komanso zonyansa, timadziwa kuti n’zotheka kusiya chizolowezi choonera zolaula. Tiyenera kupereka chiyembekezo ndikuwuza anthu kuti pali njira yosinthira ndi ufulu. Palibe tchimo limene Yesu sanafere. Mzimu wathu ndi maganizo athu ayenera kuyeretsedwa ndi mwazi umene Mpulumutsi wathu anakhetsa pa mtanda. Ufulu ulipo.

M’nkhani yotsatira tidzafotokoza zambiri zokhudza njira yopita ku ufulu.

Malemba omveka

1. https://www.covenanteyes.com/2018/01/02/your-sexual-purity-isnt-just-about-you/
2. https://www.barna.com/the-porn-phenomenon/
3. https://www.covenanteyes.com/2015/04/10/10-shocking-stats-about-teens-and-pornography/
4. https://blog.gitnux.com/porn-addiction-statistics/
5. https://www.semrush.com/analytics/traffic/
6. https://churchgrowthmagazine.com/the-number-one-reason-for-porn
7. https://www.covenanteyes.com/
8. https://fightthenewdrug.org/this-years-most-popular-genre-of-porn-is-pretty-messed-up/
9. https://fightthenewdrug.org/porn-is-taking-away-mens-ability-to-have-actual-sex/
10. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/229739107_Pornography’s_Impact_on_Sexual_Satisfaction1#/
11. https://www.ctdatacollaborative.org/story/age-victims-children-and-adults
12. https://www.missingkids.org/ourwork/ncmecdata
13. https://www.foryourmarriage.org/?s=pornography

zolemba

*Magwero otsatirawa adagwiritsidwa ntchito pofufuza ndi ziwerengero m'nkhani yonse.

• The Porn Phenomenon ndi Barna
• Limbani Mankhwala Otsopano
• Pangano la Pangano
• S.E.M. Rush

Werengani gawo II la nkhaniyi apa: Kugonana Kwambiri: Kugonjetsa Zithunzi Zolaula

Dziwani zambiri

Zambiri m'buku Identity: Kusiyanitsa Kwa Inu ndi Steve Prokopchak. Onani apa!