by Larry Kreider
Having served in Christian leadership for more than fifty years. I often felt insecure and unsure of how to lead effectively, but learned things along the way I want to share here. Hopefully, these lessons will prevent you from making some of the mistakes I made.
When we are secure in God’s love and confident that God has called us to a specific leadership position, we are able to graciously absorb criticism and avoid meddling in the “territory” of other leaders.
Understand Security and Significance Comes from Knowing You Are Accepted and Loved by God, Not by What You Do
The starting place for our Christian walk is to be secure in God’s love. We dare not depend on the approval of others for our own security and significance. The scriptures teach us; “See what great love the Father has given us that we should be called God’s children—and we are!” (1 John 3:1). Our approval comes from the fact that we are loved by our Heavenly Father, period! There is nothing I can do to make Him love me more, and there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less. I am loved by my Heavenly Father, and so are you
It is so easy to subconsciously look to people for approval rather than to the Lord for His love and affirmation. Our significance and security must come from the Lord alone, not from the approval of others.
The revelation that has had the most impact in my life comes from a common children’s song: “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” It is so simple, yet so profound!
Know That You Are Called by God, Not by Man
We must know that we are called by the Lord to serve in any specific area of leadership. Otherwise, if someone can talk us into being a leader based on human persuasion, someone else can talk us out of it. Paul the apostle explains, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10).
Obviously, leaders and mentors the Lord has placed in our lives may help us find the best place of leadership for us. But the bottom line is this: we need to have peace in our hearts knowing that the Lord has called us to serve in the role of leadership we are in. And remember, we also need to understand the Lord’s timing. We may be called to be in an area of leadership for a short season, or it may be for a longer season.
If we are not convinced that God has called us to an area of leadership, we may live in a cloud of doubt and insecurity. But if we know we are called by God to this role of leadership, we will press on when we face difficult times. We know that God has called us, and He will continue to lead us into the future.
Many years ago, I almost quit as the lead pastor of our church. The only thing that kept me going was that I knew that God had called me. Now, looking back many years later, I am so grateful to the Lord for the grace He gave me to not quit. Because I stood firm, great blessings followed. Sometimes our greatest act of spiritual warfare is to not quit.
Know the Area of Ministry God has Given You
A leader who accepts God’s call also recognizes that God has assigned him or her to a specific sphere, or field, of leadership. That leader will be confident when leading within that God-given sphere. Paul explained in 2 Corinthians 10:13, “We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the sphere of service God himself has assigned to us.”
God gives you grace to lead your God-given field. Healthy leaders refuse to meddle in fields that God has called others to lead. Whenever I go into a service in a church that I am not pastoring, a place of business, someone’s home, or another nation, I intentionally honor the leadership in that field.
God gives each of us grace (favor and divine energy) for our God-given field of leadership that He has assigned to us. We are not responsible for how others lead their fields, but we are responsible for the field or fields that God has given to us to lead.
We do not need to agree with how others lead their God-given fields. They are responsible to God for how they lead. Paul the apostle once said, “Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand” (Romans 14:4).
Know that Criticism and Conflict are Part of the leadership course
Without a clear sense of call, it may be easy for a leader to become discouraged and even angered when being criticized. Security in the Lord, however, gives us the strength as leaders to graciously accept and prayerfully discern the various criticisms that come our way.
Someone once told me there are two types of ministries before the throne of God: Jesus’ ministry of intercession and Satan’s “ministry” of accusation. These same two “ministries” can be found in the church. As leaders, we must extend Jesus’ ministry of intercession to others and learn how to handle accusations that may come against us.
I have three choices when I am criticized or accused. I can simply disregard and throw out the entire criticism and never think of it again. Or I can dwell on it, rehash it, come up with a rebuttal and even publicly declare my own defense. The third possible response is to examine the criticism, be willing to discover and acknowledge the one percent or five percent that is true and use it as an impetus for change and improvement. I am an advocate of the final approach.
We need to look for the nugget of truth even in unhealthy and unfounded criticism we receive as leaders. It has been my experience that even when receiving criticism that is clearly loaded with false charges and nonsense, there is frequently an underlying element of truth that I need to deal with. God will show us the elements in criticism or accusation that are valid as we open our hearts to Him.
It is so easy to feel offended when something we feel strongly about is challenged or if a situation comes to a different conclusion than we had hoped for. However, we need to become offense proof, because offense is based on unforgiveness. Proverbs 18:19 says, “An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.” Taking offense allows the devil to build a stronghold around us based on unforgiveness. From that stronghold, the devil can attempt to cut us off from the body of Christ and lead us into sin.
At various times in the scriptures, prayer and forgiveness are coupled together. We see this, for example, in Matthew 6:9-15, Mark 11:24-26. Forgiving others is crucial to maintaining a healthy, intimate relationship with Jesus. It is how we remain offense proof! When we look to the cross, nothing else matters. Forgiving someone does not mean what they did or said was right. It may have been wrong. But we forgive in order to prevent an offense from taking root in our lives.
If we are falsely accused or criticized, we must extend forgiveness. Truth will triumph. We do not need to defend ourselves. Instead, we should focus on the Lord. He will vindicate.
