In my 50-year leadership journey, I sought advice from leaders I trusted and read many books on leadership. I have learned that the starting point for a leader is to be secure in God’s love and confident of God’s calling. However, no one leads in a vacuum. Leadership is all about relationships with those we are leading and with leadership teams.
I wish I had known truths I am sharing here from the beginning – it would have saved others and me a lot of pain!
A healthy leader focuses on building healthy teams
A healthy leader focuses on building healthy teams and recognizes that everyone else is not created in the same way or with the same gifts. A diverse but united team is the most effective kind of team. Walt Disney had the idea for Mickey Mouse, but it was his brother Roy who turned that idea into a successful business venture. Roy Disney took all of Walt’s ideas and made them become reality. Think of it: without Roy Disney, there would be no Mickey Mouse.
It feels crazy to me now, but as a young leader, I somehow believed that everyone should think like me. I later realized that I do not need others on the team who think like me. In fact, it is better to have people around me who think differently. We all need people who are gifted differently than we are and who are able to see things we are not seeing.
Isaiah 54:2 tells us, “Lengthen your cords, and strengthen your stakes.” Some people are good at “lengthening,” or reaching out and trying new things. Others, however, are good at “strengthening.” They want to be sure that people are growing, maturing and walking strongly in the Lord.
If you are a visionary leader, you are probably a lengthener. This means you need strengtheners on your team. They will be able to help you fulfill your God-given vision. If you are a strengthener, you may find it difficult to start new things or try new ideas. In that case, find a lengthener that you can support. Seldom have I started a new vision without having a team in place to help me. We need to know our limitations. We may assume that Jesus, who was God Himself, could have been self-sufficient. He carried all ability and had access to all resources. But as He walked on this earth, He built a team around him. We are called to do the same.
For any team to work together in harmony, there must be four commonalities among all the team members: the same vision, the same values, the same procedures, and healthy relationships. Vision is the place we headed, values are things that are so important that we cannot compromise them for any reason, procedure is how we do things, and healthy relationships are built on trust, love, and respect. If any one of these commonalities are missing, the team will not function properly.
A healthy leader knows his role of leadership on each team where he serves
There are four different roles of leadership that we are privileged to serve in. There is the role of a primary leader, a supportive leader, a team player, and a mentor who may be asked by the team to come in from the outside to advise the team.
On one team, you may be the primary leader, while on another team you may support someone else’s leadership as a supportive leader. One yet another team, you may be a team player. You may also be asked to come in from outside a team to mentor or advise the team or its leaders.
A healthy leader is secure in filling various roles of leadership according to what is needed, while honoring all the other roles on the team. Each role of leadership is important, and we can find ourselves in a different role of leadership at different times on different teams.
Leadership is built on trust and relationship. We cannot lead someone if they do not trust us, and learning to trust someone does not happen overnight. Trust is built by making trustworthy decisions and by being committed to unity on the team. Jesus told His Heavenly Father, “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me” (John 17:20-21).
Do team members feel safe with your leadership? If you are leading a team and need to make a big decision, make sure you have enough trust in your “trust account” for people to follow your leadership. The balance` in your “trust account” is built by having made healthy decisions in the past. Learning to trust is a process.
Having a history of making decisions with others allows a relationship of trust to develop. Usually, the larger the decision, the more time it takes to make it in a healthy way. You can make a decision quickly to change the direction of a small canoe, but it takes a long time to navigate and move a large ocean liner. In most cases, the larger the group or organization you are leading, the longer it takes to make changes.
A healthy leader models biblical decision-making
A wise leader will teach the team he or she leads how to make God-honoring decisions. This includes making decisions that honor the Lord, honor what God has placed in the leader’s heart, honor the supportive leader’s perspectives, and honor the people who will be affected by the decision. Many times, the process of decision-making can be more impactful than the actual decision being made.
Often the people serving on a new leadership team have been involved in making decisions on other teams in the past. When they have learned to make decisions using a model that is different from the one you use, it can create challenges.
In Acts chapter 15, we are given a model for healthy decision-making. In this particular church crisis, a group of Pharisee believers from Jerusalem visited the church in Antioch and objected to the Gentiles coming into the church without submitting to the Jewish rite of circumcision. Paul and Barnabas were sent to serve on a council in Jerusalem along with the other apostles and elders to resolve this matter.
As we look at this story carefully, we see three principles of godly leadership and decision-making. (1) God speaks through a leader, (2) God speaks through a team, and (3) God speaks through His people. This is how it played out in Jerusalem.
In Acts 15, James served as the primary leader of the leadership meeting, the apostles and elders served as the team, and the church served as the people the decision would affect. When Paul and Barnabas came to Jerusalem, they met with the church, and then with the apostles and elders. Then James, the leader of the church in Jerusalem, summed up all that was said and made the final decision. The team agreed with James, and they sent leaders to churches everywhere explaining the decision that was made.
A key to all decision-making is simply knowing that only the Lord can give us wisdom for making decisions. We cannot lean on our own understanding as the writer of Proverbs admonishes us in Proverbs 3:5-6. God’s people need to be valued when we are making decisions that will affect them. They need to know more than what we are doing. They need to know why we are doing it.
I believe that combining the strengths of these three decision-making principles will help us make wise decisions. Many times, the Lord will give vision to a leader, but the timing is in the hands of the team and the people. The analogy of “head and shoulders and body” can be used to show the combined strengths of all three decision-making principles. Psalms 133:1-3 tells us when brothers “dwell together in unity,” the Lord commands a blessing. (There is much more written on this decision-making process in our book, The Biblical Role of Elders for Today’s Church).
A healthy leader knows how to manage conflict
What about handling conflict? With a variety of people and their different ways of looking at situations, conflict is often inevitable, even on a highly committed and sincerely devoted team.
Conflict does not have to be unhealthy. It is a natural element of working together. Some of us welcome conflict and confrontation. Others run from it! The perspective is often determined by different personalities – it just depends on how we are “wired.”
As leaders, we need to be prepared to manage conflict because conflict will occur. Acknowledging this inevitability helps prepare us to do well in conflict. God tells us that we will have problems in this world (Philippians 1:29). Unresolved conflict has the potential to destroy a team.
The first step for conflict resolution is going directly to the person involved (Matthew 18:15-17). Confronting and discussing the situation privately often gives an opportunity for quick resolution, lessening the chance for misunderstandings and animosity to grow. Of course, sin must be confronted. Galatians 6:1-2 tells us: “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”
Remember, conflict is not necessarily bad. Leaders are often strong personalities who have been successful in business or ministry and other areas of life because of boldly following what they believe is right.
The following are principles to resolving conflict based on a systematic approach.
- First, come to an agreement that problem exists.
- Identify the consequences of the conflict.
- Pray together in faith asking the Lord for wisdom and solutions. Praying together may, in itself, bring a degree of resolution or at least soften hearts to facilitate the process ahead.
- Mutually agree on an action.
- Follow-up and measure progress
If a leadership team finds themselves at an impasse, an objective outsider, preferably a trusted spiritual advisor, can be brought in to help resolve the issue. Every person who has authority needs to be under authority. A conflict between leaders that cannot be resolved goes to the leaders who have appointed them and give them oversight.
