Ibhalwe nguSteve Prokopchak
Njengelungu lebandla lasendlini, ingabe uyesaba ukudonseka ezimeni “zokwelulekwa” ngoba ungazi ukuthi wenzeni noma uthini? Njengomholi, ingabe uyesaba ukuthi othile eqenjini lakho angase anikeze iseluleko noma iseluleko esingalungile? Linda, kukhona ithemba ngawe!
UBob washaya ucingo ngolunye usuku ecela usizo “ngokuntuleka kwamandla.” Njengoba umholi weqembu elincane likaBob, uMike, kanye nami saxoxa naye, sathola ukuthi izinkinga zikaBob zazihlanganisa ukulahlekelwa umsebenzi, ukudangala ngemizamo yokuqala ibhizinisi lakhe nenkinga yesisindo somzimba. Njengoba sasixoxa ngohlelo lomgomo, ngakhulula uMike ukuba abonane noBob masonto onke. UMike wayevame ukuxhumana nami ngocingo mayelana nenqubekelaphambili kaBob.
Uma ungumholi, ngiyazi ukuthi uyakwazi ukukhala ngokucela usizo. Uziphendulela kanjani zonke izidingo ngendlela enesibopho? Ngabe thina njengethimba labaholi kufanele siphuthume siyobasiza? Ingabe kufanele sibhekisele ezinsizeni zomphakathi ezifana namaqembu okusekela noma ukwelulekwa kwangasese (izisebenzi zazo ezingaba nezindinganiso ezihlukile)?
Ingabe wonke umuntu udinga “uchwepheshe” ukuze athole usizo? Kungani sibheka kochwepheshe ukuthola izinsiza namuhla hhayi emkhakheni wezokwelapha noma wezempilo yengqondo kuphela? Kukhona abahlanzi bekhaphethi abangochwepheshe, izinsiza zokugunda utshani, ukulungiswa kwezwe, ilondolo, ngisho nama-manicurists angochwepheshe.
Gxila kulokho okungenzeka—ukholo nomthandazo
Inkinga akusona isibalo sochwepheshe kodwa isibalo samaKristu akholelwa ukuthi ngeke asize muntu. Ngokuvamile le nkolelo ikhiqizwa ukuzwa izikhangiso ezivela kochwepheshe noma izincwadi ezibhalwe yibona. La maKristu athenge amanga okuthi njengoba bengenakho ukuqeqeshwa okungokomthetho, okungokomsebenzi, azovimbela othile kunokuba abasize. Bagxile kakhulu ekulinganiselweni kunamathuba—ukholo nomthandazo.
Mina nomkami saqala ukuba nezingane ngaphambi kokuba sibe abazali “abachwepheshile”. Phakathi neminyaka eyinselele yokukhulisa izingane, iseluleko sethu sasivela kwabanye abazali noma kubazali abahlakaniphe kunabo bonke, ogogo nomkhulu. INkosi yasivumela ukuthi sizale abantwana singakaqediswa ngokugcweleyo.
Ukwelulekwa kochwepheshe vs
UDkt. Gary Collins, ekubhaleni le ncwadi, Ungayethemba I-Psychology? ikhomba ocwaningweni oluqhathanisa abeluleki abangochwepheshe nabasizi abangaqeqeshiwe. UDkt. Collins ukhuluma ngocwaningo lwenyuvesi yase-Southern Illinois olubuyekeze izifundo zokuqhathanisa ezinjalo ezingamashumi amane nambili. Uyabhala, “Okwatholakala kwakuvumelana futhi kuvusa inkanuko. Ama-Paraprofessionals athola imiphumela yomtholampilo elingana noma engcono kakhulu kunaleyo etholwe ngochwepheshe. " 1[SM1]
Lokhu kungaba yiqiniso kanjani? UPaul Vitz, uprofesa wokusebenza kwengqondo eNyuvesi yaseNew York, ubhala okulandelayo: “Ucwaningo lubonisa imiphumela emihle ekwelapheni kwengqondo, kodwa leyo miphumela ibonakala ingahlobene nemibono engokwengqondo . . . imiqondo engokwengqondo eqondisa ukwelashwa ibonakala ingenakho ukuxhumana okuyimbangela emiphumeleni emihle. Izici ezinkulu ezizuzisayo zokwelashwa kwengqondo zibonakalisa uhlamvu, noma izimfanelo ezinhle zokwelapha, zesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo . . . Abelaphi abaphumelelayo bachazwa 'njengabanozwela, abasekelayo, abakhathalelayo nababekezelayo.' Ngakho-ke, ingxenye eyodwa enkulu yezinzuzo ze-psychotherapy yizinga umelaphi asungula ngalo ubuhlobo obuqinile nobuhle neklayenti. . .” 2
I-Christianity Today ka-August 14, 1995 yayinombhalo osembozweni othi, “Impi KaLarry Crabb Yokulwa Nengqondo Yengqondo.” UDkt. Crabb, umbhali owaziwayo, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, kanye noprofesa wasekolishi “ongeyena “omelene nokusebenza kwengqondo” ukhuluma ngesihloko sokwelulekwa kochwepheshe ngokumelene nochwepheshe. Phakathi nengxoxo yakhe uCrabb wathi, “Khona-ke, umongo oyinhloko wokwelapha kufanele kube umphakathi wamaKristu, hhayi umhlaba obulala amagciwane womelaphi ozimele.” 3 UCrabb manje ukholelwa ukuthi isonto ngokusebenzisa “abadala” (amadoda nabesifazane abesaba uNkulunkulu) linamandla amaningi okuba nomthelela kubantu kunokutuswa ngawo.
U-Os Guinness, umbhali onodokotela wefilosofi wase-Oxford University, eNgilandi, esihlokweni sakhe esithi, “Amadoda Okugcina AseMelika Nekhambi Lawo Elimangalisayo Lokukhuluma,” uyaphawula, “‘Ukufuna usizo cishe kusho amadola angamashumi ayisikhombisa nanhlanu, ihora lemizuzu engamashumi amahlanu ehhovisi lesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kunesikhathi sokuthandaza nokuzindla nomfundisi, noma ukuvuma izono nomngane noma umfundisi ongasifuni.” 4 Kubonakala sengathi bobabili uCrabb noGuinness bacindezela izinkinobho ezifanayo.
Abantu abasiza abantu
Nakuba umbono kaCrabb ungewona wohlelo lokwelulekwa kwabafundi (iphuzu alicacisa engxoxweni yakhe), uvula umnyango wokwakha ukuqwashisa okudingekayo ebandleni lendawo namuhla. Umnyombo wabantu abasiza abantu yilokho umbhalo okubiza ngokuthi “omunye nomunye.”
Ingabe uke wawaqaphela amagama amabili “elilinye” eTestamenteni Elisha? EyabaseRoma 15:7 kuyi- New International Version isinxusa ukuba ‘samukelene . . . , sizinikele omunye komunye othandweni lobuzalwane. Nihloniphane ngaphezu kwenu.” Futhi kwabaseRoma sitshelwa ukuthi, “sinekhono lokufundisana” (KwabaseRoma 12:10).
UPawulu watshela amaKristu aseGalathiya ukuthi … “nikhonzane ngothando” (Galathiya[SM2]ns 5:13). Incwadi yabase-Efesu ihlanganisa izikhombo eziningi ezifanayo: Kwabase-Efesu 4:2 “…nibekezelelana ngothando,” 4:32 “… Yibani nomusa komunye nomunye, nihawukelane, nithethelelane…” UJakobe uyasiyala ukuba “…nivume izono omunye komunye futhi nithandazelane ukuze niphulukiswe…”
INkosi yethu yakufingqa kanje, “Ngininika umyalo omusha; thandanani. Njengalokhu nginithandile, kufanele nithandane” (Johane 13:34). UJesu wayegcizelela ekukhuthazeni kwakhe ukuthi sithande. Kungani? Ngoba wayazi ukuthi sithambekele ekubeni ngamaKristu angamazimuzimu futhi “sidlana sodwa” (Galathiya 5:15).
Nikeza ukuqeqeshwa kwabaholi bamabandla asekhaya
La mavesi anikeza umfutho odingekayo ukuze kwakhiwe ukuqeqeshwa kokwelulekwa kwabaholi beqembu elincane. Laba baholi sebevele bahlangene bodwa. Ngokuvamile kudingeka banikeze iseluleko—ngezinye izikhathi esiwusizo kakhulu futhi ngezinye izikhathi sihileleke kakhudlwana. Yingakho sidale ukuqeqeshwa kwabaholi bamaqembu ethu amancane, abasizi babaholi kanye nalabo abangase babe abaholi esivele sikubize, “Ukuqeqeshwa Kokwelulekwa Kwabaholi Bamaqembu Amancane.” Lusuku olugcwele lokuqeqeshwa ezindaweni ezinjengalezi: umnyombo wokwelulekwa, ukudalula izimpande, izimpendulo zemibhalo ezinkingeni zezimpande, inqubo yokwelulekwa, kanye nezindawo zezinkinga ezithile ezifana: umshado, intukuthelo, ezezimali, njll. Laba baholi basitshela ukuthi lolu hlobo lokuqeqeshwa okusebenzayo lungolunye lokuqeqeshwa okuwusizo kakhulu abake bakuthola.
Le nkonzo iyavinjelwa ngokwemvelo futhi. Ngokuvamile, laba baholi bazobona isidingo ngaphambi kokuba kwenziwe isicelo sokwelulekwa ngokusemthethweni. Ngenxa yokuqeqeshwa abakutholile, izinga labo lokuzethemba lizokhuphuka.
Ukukhathazeka kwezomthetho
Ngivame ukubuzwa lo mbuzo, “Kodwa kuthiwani ngemithetho yokwelulekwa kwamaKristu avamile? Ibandla belingamangalelwa na?” Iqiniso liwukuthi, namuhla noma ubani angaboshelwa cishe nganoma yini. USteve Levicoft, encwadini yakhe ethi, Christian Counseling and the Law, ukhomba kumthelela wecala lika-Nally.5 U-Ken Nally ubethola iseluleko esivela kuGrace Community Church of the Valley eCalifornia lapho uJohn MacArthur engumfundisi khona. UKen wazibulala futhi abazali bakhe bamangalela uGrace Community. Umphumela wokugcina weminyaka eyisishiyagalolunye yokuqulwa kwecala kanye nezinkulungwane zamaRandi ezichithiwe kwaba ukuthi iGrace Community Church of the Valley iwine icala eNkantolo Ephakeme yezwe.
Lesi sinqumo sithinta umkhakha wokwelulekwa kobuKristu okuhlanganisa nabaholi bebandla elincane noma lasendlini abelulekayo, amaqembu okuzisiza, noma izingcingo zokwelulekwa ngokwezinhlekelele. Ivumele abeluleki “bezenkolo” ukuthi basebenze ngaphandle kwemithetho kahulumeni. Ukuze ‘sihlakaniphe njengezinyoka’ ( Mathewu 10:16 ) kudingeka sisebenzise izimiso ezinhle zobuKristu zokugcinwa kwemfihlo nokubhala izincwadi. Futhi ngiyakukhuthaza ukuthi ufunde imithetho yesifunda sakho esiqondile mayelana nabefundisi nokwelulekwa kanye nanoma yimiphi imithetho ephathelene nokunikezwa kwelayisensi. Kuwumkhuba obalulekile futhi ukuba nomeluleki ongumKristu oqeqeshiwe otholakala enkonzweni yakho yokweluleka njengomeluleki kuwe nakubaholi bebandla lakho lasekhaya. Kubalulekile ukusebenzisa lo muntu futhi ungamphathi njengomuntu ongadingekile.
Amaqembu esonto lasendlini ayindawo enhle kakhulu yokuqala “ukubonana”
KwabaseKorinte bokuqala 12, uPawulu ubhala ngeziphiwo zomoya ezihlukahlukene. Uthi, “manje yilowo nalowo uphiwa ukubonakala kukaMoya kube kukuhle kubo bonke.” Kungasiphi isizathu sifuna lezi zipho? Hhayi ngenxa yokubonakaliswa kodwa ngenxa yokuthi kufanele sihileleke “ebuhleni obuvamile” benkonzo yomzimba. Ngemva kokuchazwa kwezipho (amavesi 8 kuya ku-10) ingxenye esele yesahluko ikhuluma ngabantu. “. . . Kodwa uNkulunkulu uye wahlanganisa izitho zomzimba futhi unikeze udumo olukhulu ezithweni ezazintula, ukuze kungabikho ukwahlukana emzimbeni, kodwa ukuze izitho zawo zinakekelane ngokulinganayo. Uma kuhlupheka isitho sinye, kuhlupheka izitho zonke kanye naso; uma isitho sinye sidunyiswa, zonke izitho zijabula kanye naso” (12 Korinte 24:26-XNUMX).
Njengebandla leTestamente Elisha, masibuyele enkolelweni yokuthi singathandana futhi sikhonze omunye nomunye. Omunye umKristu angenza umehluko empilweni yomunye. UMike wakwazi ukusiza uBob ngokulalela, ngomthandazo, ngokumkhuthaza, nangokuziphendulela ngezinyathelo ezithile ezingokoqobo okwakudingeka azithathe. Wonke umuntu onenkinga angase angakutholi konke akudingayo lapho elulekana nabaholi bamabandla asekhaya, kodwa kuyindawo enhle nengokwemvelo yokuqala. Masithathe izinyathelo ezidingekayo ukuze sibone abaholi bethu beqeqeshwa futhi beqiniseka “emunye nomunye.”
- Ungayethemba I-Psychology? Gary R. Collins, © 1988, Intervarsity Press
- Hhayi uNkulunkulu kodwa uNkulunkulu, Os Guinness no-John Seel, © 1992, Moody Press
- UbuKristu Namuhla, August 14, 1995, Umq. 39, No.9
- Hhayi uNkulunkulu kodwa uNkulunkulu, Os Guinness no-John Seel, © 1992, Moody Press
- Iseluleko sobuKristu kanye noMthetho, Steve Levicoft, © 1991, Moody
