Funga nezvezviri kuitwa nevanhu paFacebook nhasi. Ivo . . . kuzvivakira chifananidzo uye chiziviso chavo, icho neimwe nzira chiratidzo chavo. —Mark Zuckerberg
Ndiani wakakutsausai nguva dzose sezvaunozvida iwe? — Benjamin Franklin
Pane kuchengetedzwa kwakawanda muchitokisi chejeri, asi handisati ndambonzwa nezvemunhu anorova magonhi kuti apinde.. —William S. Broomfield
Pepanhau retaundi rokumusha kwedu rakanga rine chinyorwa munguva pfupi yapfuura pamusoro pepwere yomunzvimbomo inonzi Rowan. Chinyorwa chakaverenga, "Zuva rega rega alarm yake yairira na6 am uye aiumburuka ari pamubhedha wake wemapatya, otora iPhone yake otanga kutsvaga memes - mifananidzo nemavhidhiyo - yekugovera pa Instagram. Akaramba achitsvaga nekutumira kusvika nguva yekukwira bhazi kuenda kuchikoro yakwana. Pakati pemakirasi, panguva yekudya kwemasikati, uye panguva yekuverengera imba, aichengeta humambo hwake hwesocial media huchimhanya nemifananidzo mitsva. Chinangwa chake chaive chekutumira 100 pazuva. "
Pakudzokera kumba zuva iroro, “Rowan aibatidza laptop yake ndokugara pamberi pechidzitiro chinopenya kwemaawa. . . . Kudya kwake kwe Instagram kwakapenya pamberi pake semuchina we slot. " Rowan akaitawo mari yakanaka. Mimwe mwedzi akaita zviuru gumi zvemadhora.
Chinangwa chake chaiva chei? Yaiva mbiri here? Yaiva mari here? Nemashoko ake pachake, maererano nenyaya yacho, Rowan akati, “Ndinoda kuva nesimba rakakwana kuti ndizivikanwe sezvandiri. . . . Ndinoda kuva nevanoshamwaridzana kwose kwose uye ndakachengeteka mune zvemari.” Bhizinesi rake rakaramba richikura sezvakaita mukurumbira wake. Rowan akanga achicherekedzwa nevadzidzisi vepakoreji uye achipiwa mainternship pamwe chete nemabasa.
Zvino musi waChikunguru 26, 2019, nyika yaRowan yakapinduka. Saiti yake ye Instagram yakavharwa - yakavharwa pasina yambiro kana kufunga.
Mhinduro yaRowan? “Shamwari dzangu dzakawanda dzinofunga kuti ndaora mwoyo, uye ndinofunga kuti ndizvozvo. Ndanga ndichinzwa ndisina kuchengeteka pamusoro pezvinhu zvakawanda, sechimiro changu nekuita uye kutaura. Ndinotaura zvishoma pane zvandaisimboita. Ndine chivimbo chakaderera. . . . Ndinoita sendinonzwa—ndinonzwa ndarasika.” Amai Rowan vakawedzera kuti mwanakomana wavo akanga asiri muhutano. Vabereki vake vari kuyedza kumukurudzira kuti aite nehupenyu kunze kwenyika.
Mashoko ekupedzisira aRowan pamusoro pezvakaitika kwaari uye kuti ave kuedza imwe nzvimbo yepamhepo sei, "Kana uine vateveri vazhinji, izwi rakawanda raunoita. . . . Kuwanda kwaunoita, ndiko kuwedzera kwaunoita simba.”
Pasina kuvepo kwake pamhepo, kuzivikanwa kwaRowan kwakapikiswa kumoyo wake. Izvozvo pazvakanyangarika, haana kuziva kuti aiva ani uye akatambura zvikuru. Izwi raRowan, chengetedzo, kuzivikanwa, hukama, "clout," uye "simba" rake zvakarasika nehusiku humwe. Iye zvino akatsvanzvadzira kuti awane paaizokwana ndokuwana chitupa ichocho zvekare.
Ndinowanepi Kuzivikanwa Kwangu?
Henri Nouwen, mubhuku rake Ndivanaani Tiri?, inogovera nhema shanu dzekuzivikanwa:
Ini ndiri zvandinazvo.
Ndini zvandinoita.
Ndiri izvo vamwe vanhu vanotaura kana kufunga nezvangu.
Ini handisi chinhu kunze kwenguva yangu yakaipisisa.
Ini handisi chinhu chiri pasi penguva yangu yakanaka.1
Kuzivikanwa kwangu kunowanikwa munhaka yangu here kana murudzi rwangu kana dzinza rangu? Inowanikwa here mukunyengetedza kwangu kwezvematongerwo enyika kana dzidzo yangu? Kuzivikanwa kwangu kunowanikwa here muhunhu hwangu hwepabonde kana murume kana mukadzi? Inowanikwa muupfumi hwangu, basa rangu, kubudirira kwangu, mano angu, kana zvinhu zvangu? Ndinogona here kuwana chitupa mune wandinoziva kana mukutenderwa nevamwe vakakosha? Inowanikwa here muchitarisiko changu kana zita remhuri yangu?
Kuzivikanwa kwangu kunowanikwa here mukurasikirwa kwangu kwakapfuura kana kubudirira? Kana ndiine hutsinye hwakapfuura, kuzivikanwa kwangu kunotambwa sei muhupenyu hwangu hwazvino? Ndakashandisa varume kana vakadzi kunditsanangura here? Ndakashandisa urombo kana upfumi kunditsanangura here? Ndakashandisa hurwere here kutsanangura zvandiri? Ndakabvuma manyepo akawanda pamusoro pangu uye ndikarasikirwa zvachose nepfungwa yekuti ndiri ani chaizvo?
Kuzvitsanangura
Vachiri kuyaruka vanogara vachitsvaka nzira dzokuzvitsanangura nadzo. Zvinoita sechikamu chemararamiro evechiri kuyaruka. Ini ndiri mumwe wevakangwara here, mumwe wevatambi, mumwe wevanosekesa kana mumwe wevanoyevedza? vangazvibvunza vamene. Kuzivikanwa kunogona kutaridzika kushanduka gore negore zvichienderana nekuzviona kwako pachako uye mhinduro kubva kune vezera rako.
Ndakaverenga nyaya yomumwe mukadzi wechiduku akanga achitsvaka uku ari kuchikoro chesekondari uye ndakazopedzisira ndazivikanwa so“musikana anohura.” Akataura kuti pakutanga zvaipa simba. Aigona kushandisa basa iri kumunakira nokuwana chero munhu waaida, kwehusiku humwe chete.
Akagovera kuti tsika yeHollywood yakaratidza mararamiro aya epabonde seyakanaka; munhu wose akanga achizviita. Pakupedzisira, akazviwana ari oga, asina chinhu, uye apererwa nezano rose, asina ukama hupi nohupi hwechokwadi kana hworudo.
Conformity maringe Identity
Kuenderana nekuzivikanwa nekuda kwenharaunda yedu hakuzochinji moyo yedu kana zvatiri chaizvo.
Kwemakore masere, ini nomudzimai wangu takatarisira boka rokurera vana vevakomana vechidiki vakanga vagadzwa nedare. Mumakore masere iwayo, takava nenzvimbo dzakawanda dzakasiyana (majaya nemhandara shoma). Vamwe vavo vakachinja zvechokwadi uye vakabudirira, uye vamwe vavo vakatevedzera. Ndinorevei?
Kana mwana wokurera akangoenderana nemitemo yakakumbirwa, vakanga vasiri kuchinja. Vanogona kunge vakabudirira kuita zvavakanga vatumwa nedare, asi vaizodzoka. Ndinozviziva sei izvozvo? Kuenderana nechimwe chinhu hakuchinji mwoyo wemunhu kana kuzivikanwa.
Kana ukabatwa nemhosva uye ukatongerwa kugara mujeri, unenge uchienderana neupenyu hwese muhusungwa uye wonzi munhu ane mhosva. Zviri kwauri kuti uchaita shanduko uri munzvimbo itsva iyi. Mhoteredzo inogona kumutsa shanduko, asi haigone kuda shanduko yemoyo. Kubva mukusungwa uku, unogona kuenderana nemufananidzo wemusungwa uye kudzidza nzira nyowani dzekupara mhosva, kana kuramba kunzi musungwa uye kushandura moyo wako kuti ugamuchire chitupa chakasiyana.
Ichi ndicho chikonzero vanhu vanoderedza uremu, zvichida kunyange zana remakirogiramu, vachikwanisa kuzviona sevakafuta. Kunyange zvazvo nharaunda yavo yakachinja, kudya kwavo kwakachinja, kana kuti chimiro chavo muchionioni chakachinja, pfungwa dzavo hadzina kushanduka kuti dzigamuchire chokwadi cheuzivi hutsva.
Ngatitorei pfungwa iyi danho rakadzama.
The Prison of Self
Mukati memakore angu ekuraira, ndakaita muenzaniso wakabatsira vanopa mazano kuziva jeri ravangave vaizvipinza mariri. Ndakaridaidza kuti jeri remunhu. Kunyange ini ndisingakwanise kuvimbisa kuti pfungwa yacho ndeyekutanga neni, hezvino zvayakaita.
Fungidzira munda wakanaka, une huswa une zuva rinodziya zvakanaka, rinopenya richipenya pamusoro. Makanga mune makwai mumunda uyu—makwai aifara, asingaoni, aifura. Makwai akanga asina kana kutarisira kumwe chete munyika. Pakati chaipo pemunda uyu wakaisvonaka paiva nejeri rakavakwa nekongiri rinotonhora, rakasviba, grey rakakura zvakakwana kuti rikwanise musungwa mumwe chete. Paive nefafitera raive nemazariro negonhi raive nemazariro. Mukati makanga mune sirabhu yekongiri yemubhedha usina zvimwe zvinhu zvakanaka zvepamba.
Mukati mejeri iri ndimo mawaizoona uchiverenga maawa kusvika pakupera kwerimwe zuva. Chawaingoita zuva nezuva kurota uchiita sehwai dziya dzaifura kunze kwefafitera rako rakavharwa pasina kunetseka munyika. Yakanga iri nzvimbo iri yoga yaikonzera kuti unzwe sokuti wakaparadzaniswa nenyika. Mujeri imomo makanga mangosara muine pfungwa dzakanyarara, dzekuzviparira.
Asi hechino chinhu chinofadza pamusoro pejeri iri. Musuwo wakakiiwa uye wakavhurwa. Unogona kuenda chero nguva yaunoda. Chokwadi ndechekuti wakazvisungirira wega. Unogona kubva, asi unosarudza kusadaro. Ijeri rawakazvigadzira. Munogona kuva samakwai ari kunze, asi munoramba muri mukati. Sei?
Iwe gara mukati nekuti "kunze uko," iwe uchafanirwa kuzviona iwe zvakasiyana. Unozofanira kurarama wakasununguka, kuita zvakasununguka, uye kusununguka. Kusarudza kugara mujeri rako pachako kusarudza kuvimba neavo vanokuunzira chikafu, avo vanokuudza zvaunogona kuita nezvausingakwanise kuita. Mujeri iroro, hauna kusununguka, asi wakasvika pakutsamira pamadziro iwayo, mitemo iyoyo, nemiganhu iyoyo. Mune imwe nzira isinganzwisisike, iwe unonzwa wakachengeteka zvakanyanya mukati meiyo nzvimbo yakavharirwa.
Gweta mushure memumiriri vaigona kuzviona vari mukati mejeri iroro kuburikidza nehupenyu humwe kana humwe. Zvaimiririra kuchengeteka kwavari. Yaimiririra zvishoma zvekuzivikanwa uye kujeka kuti vaive vanaani kunyangwe vaive vakaganhurirwa kunzvimbo diki iyoyo. Vaiziva zvaizoitika zuva nezuva. Zvaifanotaurwa. Yaimiririra magariro uye yakauya pasina mashura.
Murume paDziva
Jeri rekuzvida rinoenderana nenyaya inowanikwa muBhaibheri John 5. Muguta reJerusarema makanga mune dziva rainzi Bhetisaidha. Kukauya vanhu vazhinji vakaremara, mapofu, zvirema navakafa mitezo. Paiva nomumwe murume akanga arwara kwamakore makumi matatu namasere padziva. Jesu akauya kwaari rimwe zuva. Jesu achiziva nhoroondo yake, akamubvunza mubvunzo unofadza wokuti: “Unoda kuporeswa here?” Jesu haana chaaifunga. Aiziva kuti murume uyu akanga agara kwenguva refu munzvimbo iyi uye zvichida aitarisirwa zuva nezuva nekudya kamwe chete kana maviri. Yakanga isiri nzvimbo hurusa, asi yakanga iri nzvimbo yokugara, yokurara, yokudya, yokuva neshamwari, uye kutandara.
Maererano neBhaibheri, dziva iri pane dzimwe nguva raizoshanyirwa nengirozi yaMwari iyo yaizobvongodza mvura yacho. Apo vanhu vaikwanisa kusvika mumvura ndokupinda mudziva, ivo vaizoporeswa. Mugonda akapindura Jesu akati, “Ishe, handina munhu angandibatsira kuti ndipinde mudziva kana mvura yabvongodzwa. Asi yeuka, Jesu akamubvunza kana aida kuporeswa. Sei Aizobvunza mubvunzo une mhinduro iri pachena kudaro? Batisisa: pamwe pane mhinduro kumubvunzo uyu yausina kufunga nezvayo.
Kana Jesu akaporesa murume uyu ndokumuporesa, murume wacho achatofanira kusimudza rukukwe rwake obuda panzvimbo iyoyo. Iwe unoti, "Zvakanaka." Hongu, asi kune zvakawanda kunyaya iyi kupfuura kuporesa. Murume mumwe chete iyeye akagoverwa nokuda kwomugariro wake zvino achafanira kuzvigovera amene. Achatofanira kuwana basa, kusiya shamwari dzake, kuzvibikira, uye zvichida kuriritira mhuri yake. Jesu paakabvunza mubvunzo wokuti, “Unoda kuporeswa here?” Akanga achibvunza zvomenemene kuti, “Unoda here kubva mutorongo iri, uzviriritire umene kupfurikidza nokuwana basa, uye kusiya chawava kuziva soupenyu hwenguva refu?”
ISarudzo Yedu
Dai ndaiva Mwari, handaikupa sarudzo. Waitofanira kuenda. Waizoda kupora uye kuzviriritira. Asi Jesu akanga achipa murume uyu mukana wokusiya zvaaiziva kuti ararame upenyu hwakasiyana zvachose nounhu hwakasiyana zvachose. Kwemakore makumi matatu nemasere murume uyu akararama nenzira imwe. Iye zvino pamberi pake paive nemukana wekurarama hupenyu hwakasiyana kwazvo nehuzivikanwi husina kubatana nehurwere hwake kana nharaunda yake. Kuzengurira kwake kana kuti chikonzero chake chaive chekuti, "Ndiri kuedza kupinda, mumwe munhu anonditangira."
Hatina kungofanana nemurume uya padziva here? Hatisati tagwinya tichizvipa zvikonzero zvekuti tidzivise shanduko. "Kuedza" hakusi kuita. Kuedza kutaura, "Handifungi kuti ndinogona kuzviita, asi ndiri kuzokuudza kuti ndiri kuedza." Tinozvisunga isu; nguva yose iyi, gonhi rakazaruka. Kuchinja, kurarama nenzira yakasiyana, kunotyisa kwatiri kunyange zvazvo kuporeswa kungava kuri nani zvikuru. Kuva nemutoro wakazara wekwatiri muhupenyu, zvatinotenda, uye zvatinotaura sehunhu hwedu zvinongotyisa kune vamwe. Zvinoita sekuti kusachengeteka. Tingada kugara patinenge tiri tonyunyuta pamusoro pemamiriro edu ezvinhu, topomera vamwe mhosva, kana kuti kunyaradza vamwe nokutaura kuti tiri “kuedza.”
Kunyanya kuzvipengesa kwatinoita, ndiko kuwedzera kwatinoita kuzivikanwa kwedu. Kuzvidyira mukati mejeri rekuzvida kunomutsa pfungwa yekuzvifunga. Hatimbofi takawana kuzivikanwa mukati medu pachedu. Huchava hwenhema uye husingazopi hwaro hwokurarama. Zvichaita sewechiduku anochinja gore negore, achiedza kutsvaka paanokwana muupenyu uye paanokwana pakati pevezera rake.
Chii chakapiwa kwauri?
Ini Petro 1: 18 inotiudza kuti, “Nokuti munoziva kuti hamuna kudzikinurwa nezvinhu zvinoparara zvakadai sesirivha kana ndarama panzira isina maturo yamakagamuchira kubva kumadzitateguru enyu. Ini handisi pano kuti ndipe mhosva chero chinhu kuvabereki vako kana dzinza remhuri. Chandinoshuvira kuita ndechekuita kuti iwe ufunge nezve izvo "zvakagamuchidzwa" kwauri. Ndezvipi zvimwe zvezvaunotenda izvi zvinoumba kuzivikanwa zvawakagamuchidzwa? Ndeapi majeri iwayo awakangobvuma pasina mubvunzo nekuti ndiwo aunoziva?
Ndaiva neshamwari yangu yaitya kusangana nevanhu vatsva. Aidedera chaiko, ovhiringa mashoko ake uye onzvenga nzvimbo ipi neipi yaigona kuitika izvi. Rimwe zuva takanga tichitaura nezvenhoroondo yake akandiratidza kuti amai vake vaigara vachitya vanhu vavasingazivi.
Mumwe muenzaniso waakagovera wakaitika paakanga achikura papurazi rokumaruwa rePennsylvania. Baba vake vaishanda kure nepurazi masikati. Izvi zvakasiya mai vake nevanin'ina vake vari vega pamba. Nguva nenguva, mutengesi wezviyo, kana mutyairi werori yezviyo aizouya. Mai sahwira wangu vaikiya gonhi vozozvivanza nevana vese muwadhiropu diki, dema. Ikoko vaibva vanyarara kusvika mutorwa aenda.
Nanhasi, sahwira wangu ari mujeri akazvisungirira kana totaura nezvekusangana nevanhu vatsva. Chimwe nechimwe chinomiririra chimwe chinhu chitsva chekutya. Rwakanga rwuri rutyo rwakapfuudzwa kwaari na“madzitateguru” ake.
Takapiwa Sarudzo
Zvakakosha kuzvibvunza mubvunzo: ndiani anotisarudzira kana kutiitira sarudzo? Tinofanira kubvunza izvi nezvekare, zvazvino, uye kunyange ramangwana redu. Mwari ane chikamu chei muzvisarudzo izvozvo?
Kana tikabvumira mamiriro ehupenyu kuti atitungamirire, kana tikapa mumwe munhu simba rekutaura pamusoro pedu uye kuona kuti tiri ani, saka tinenge tichibvumira mumwe munhu kana chimwe chinhu kuti chitarise zvatiri. Takapiwa chisarudzo chokuva izvo zvatinopiwa noupenyu kana kuti kuva vakasiyana.
Benjamin akaberekwa Gunyana 18, 1951, muDetroit, Michigan. Baba vaBenjamini vaiva nemakore makumi maviri nemasere uye amai vake vaiva nemakore gumi nematatu pavakaroorana. Vaigara mumusha we733-square-foot. Benjamin akadzidziswa muzvikoro zveruzhinji zveDetroit. Paakanga ava nemakore mashanu, vabereki vake vakarambana. Amai vake vakatambura nepfungwa dzakakomba, vakaedza kuzviuraya, uye vakarapwa kakawanda muchipatara.
Pashure pokurambana uye pashure pokunge vaziva kuti Benjamin akanga asara muchikoro chake, amai vake vaida kuti averenge mabhuku maviri eraibhurari pavhiki uye kupedza mushumo webhuku pane rimwe nerimwe. Benjamin paakazopedza chikoro chesekondari, Detroit Yemahara Press yakaburitsa chinyorwa chakamurumbidza nekuwana zvibodzwa zvepamusoro zveSAT mumakore makumi maviri emudzidzi chero muzvikoro zveDetroit.
Ben aida kunyorera kuHarvard neYale asi aingova nemari yaikwana—madhora gumi—yefomu rimwe chete rokukoreji. Akagamuchirwa naYale uye akapa bhezari yakazara. Ben akapedza kudzidza kubva kuYale ndokubva apedza kudzidza kubva kuYunivhesiti yeMichigan Medical School muna 1973. Akapinda chirongwa cheJohns Hopkins School of Medicine neurosurgery. Muna 1987 Benjamin Carson ndiye aive mutungamiri weurosurgeon wechikwata chenhengo makumi manomwe aizoita chirongwa chekuvhiya chekuparadzanisa mapatya akabatana. Akanga ariwo chiremba wetsinga dzokutanga kuita nzira dzokuvhiya dzakabudirira pamwana achiri mudumbu raamai. Aive gotwe mukuru wevana veneurosurgery munyika aine makore makumi matatu nematatu.
Ini handizivi zvamakapiwa nemadzitateguru enyu, asi ndine imwe pfungwa yezvamuri kuda kupiwa naBaba vedu vokudenga. Zvinogona kudarika zviroto zvako. Dr. Carson vaigona kufunga zvakapfuura zvavo zviri nyore ndokuzviudza kuti hakuna remangwana. Amai vake, kutenda kwake, uye Mwari wake vakamuudza zvakasiyana.
Jesu akatiratidza kuti tinofanira kuzviramba, kutora muchinjikwa wedu, uye kumutevera. Iri izano rinopesana nezvatinonzwa zuva nezuva kubva kutsika dzedu dzemazuva ano. Munhu anga“zviramba” sei asi onzwa zviri nani nezvake? Jesu haana kumbotaura kuti zvatinomuitira ndizvo zvatiri. Kutaura idi, Aigara achiudza vaFarise vomuzuva Rake kuti zvakanga zvisiri izvo. Kwakanga kusati kuri chitarisiko chavo chokunze, nzvimbo yavo musinagogi yomunzvimbomo, kana kuti kuziva kwavo mutemo nomusoro kwaizosarudza ukoshi hwavo kana kuti kuzivikanwa kwavo. In Mateo 23, Jesu akataura chokwadi kuvaFarisi nevaSadhusi nezvokuwana kuzivikanwa kwavo munzvimbo dzose dzisina kururama.
1. Henri JM Nouwen, Ndivanaani Tiri? (Podcast Audio Course naIye Zvino Iwe Unoziva Media, 2017).
Zvakatorwa mubhuku Kuzivikanwa: Kusiyanisa Kwauri naSteve Prokopchak. Zvionere pano!
